Parseltongue in Pasadena
by nerdgirlsofwitchwood
Summary: A surprise trip to the States ends in adventure and confusion when Harry and Draco bump into their favourite ship... Drarry and Shamy crossover
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter or the Big Bang Theory.

Harry Potter was having a pretty crap summer with the Dursleys, as per usual. Only this summer was even worse, what with Sirius being dead, and no chance of rescue from Ron or Hermione, who were both away at wizarding PGL. (The Dursleys hadn't let Harry go; it was Hogsmeade all over again). Harry was moping in his room about three weeks in to a miserable, wet, English summer, dreaming about his boyfriend Draco (there was no chance of seeing him either, as the Malfoy's didn't exactly approve of their love), when suddenly, he heard an explosion from downstairs. Images of Mr Weasley exploding the fireplace two years ago flashed through Harry's mind, and he raced downstairs, hope blossoming in his chest. Except, bursting into the sitting room, it wasn't the Weasleys he saw… but Draco.

"Babes!" Harry shrieked, jumping into Malfoy's arms. And they snogged passionately, in front of the Dursleys and everything.

"You know how you said last term that you'd never been on holiday?" Draco asked with a glint in his steely grey eyes.

"Yeah…" Harry wished Draco would spit it out, anticipation was killing him.

"I've stolen my father's money and I'm taking you to America!"

Harry was lost for words. Draco climbed onto his Nimbus 2001, pulling Harry on behind him, and they flew out of the window, to the horror of the thunderstruck Dursleys. As they zoomed into the clouds and away from Privet Drive, Harry let out a laugh for the first time in a month.

The pair landed in sunny California, hoping to take advantage of the golden beaches and baking weather. After a heavenly day spent together, they returned to the hotel room Draco had managed to book last minute and curled up in bed, snuggled in each other's arms. As Harry slowly drifted off to sleep, his mind replayed Draco's heroic kidnapping, and a small lazy smile crept onto his face.

The next morning, the couple decided to visit the zoo. Whilst ambling through the reptile house, Draco spotted a scaly tail poking out through two fake rocks. Harry couldn't resist reminding him of their first date at the duelling club, so he leant close to the glass. A harsh hissing sound escaped his lips and the snake inside reacted immediately, excited to have a proper conversation about something other than dead rats. Draco watched in awe, oblivious to the fact that they were discussing nothing more exciting than the weather (to be fair, Harry had only just met the snake, any other conversation would have been a bit awkward). Suddenly, they heard a voice behind them shout, "You speak Parseltongue?" Frozen on the spot, they exchanged a worried glance.

Sheldon and Amy had been enjoying their time at the zoo, even if Sheldon had spent far too long outside the koala enclosure, making Amy slightly jealous. Things began to pick up when, whilst watching turtles chew on lettuce leaves, they saw a couple in the corner, their backs turned away, watching a snake as it faced them, rearing up as one boy whispered to it. As they watched, it became clear to Sheldon that this boy was conversing with it, and he stepped forward to confront him. He watched, eyebrows raised, as the teenagers turned round.

Both couples stepped back in shock.

"You're Harry Potter!" Amy squealed.

"You're the Shamy!" retorted Harry, baffled.

"Oh my gosh, you guys are my OTP," Draco fanboyed.

The four stood completely confused in this strange turn of events.


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon was the first to break the baffled silence.

"Well it seems clear to me that one of our couples has been transported into a parallel universe, where the others are not actually characters in a franchise but real people"

Amy gazed in adoration at Sheldon, impressed that he was keeping so calm at living one of his favourite fantasies for real.

"But which one of us lives here, and who's visiting?" asked Draco, more confused than the others- Harry wasn't sure he even knew what a parallel universe was; Draco had always been too busy staring at Harry in lessons to concentrate.

"Well, has anyone done anything obscure today? Anything that may suggest or explain why this has happened?" Amy asked.

Sheldon thought, "Hmm… not anything I can think of. We come to the zoo all the time and it's been as pleasant as always. No strange events. What about you?" He nodded at Harry and Draco.

"Weeeelll, we did fly through a weird thunderstorm as we were going over the Bermuda Triangle," explained Draco.

"Seriously? That's so cliché. They do that in "The Suite Life on Deck"." Amy was disappointed that such a basic and banal plot device had been used by the author of their lives, be that God or two nerdy girls in a bedroom somewhere.

"Right," said Draco, fuming, "So we're stuck in a world with a bunch of weirdo muggles and no wizards. How the hell are we going to get home?"

"Lovebug, you were the one who wanted to take me for an adventure so we could escape and spend some time alone, and who can say that this isn't a fantastic opportunity for that?" Harry tried to soothe Draco, never an easy task, especially when the colour rose in his pale cheeks, as it was doing now. Harry took hold of his hand and squeezed it supportively, and realized for the first time that Draco was shaking: he was terrified to be out alone in the world, but he was doing it for Harry.

"Well that's settled then." Sheldon beamed, "I have to show you to my friends, they'll be so jealous to see that I've met Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy!" He took Amy by the hand and led them to the exit.

xxxxxxxxxx

Harry had often dreamed about walking up the stairs to Shelnard's apartment, but he'd never quite appreciated how tiring it would be. Even his Hogwarts training hadn't prepared him, since those stairs were of course magic. Upon reaching the fourth floor, he was ready to collapse at any second. Luckily, they had arrived. Sheldon invited them all in and supplied them with hot beverages. Harry was grateful for the tea, but it didn't quite taste like butterbeer, and for the first time he began to get pangs of fear- what if they couldn't make it back to the wizarding world?

Sheldon watched with a huge smile plastered on his face. He couldn't wait for his friends to get home so he could show off his new discovery. Not only was there two wizards sat in his kitchen but the journey they took to get there could have ground-breaking scientific implications.

On cue, Leonard, Howard and Raj walked through the door of 4A. Sheldon leapt to his feet and hurried over to them.

"Look, look. Meet my friends, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy" Sheldon gestured over to the two boys with a smug look on his face.

All three were flabbergasted and stood staring at them. Leonard tried to speak but just ended up stuttering incoherently. Howard stepped forward.

"Oh Harry, it's such an honour to meet you, I hope you don't mind my speaking in parseltongue but I guess if you're the real harry potter and not cosplaying you'll be able to reply, right?"

Harry hadn't even realised Howard was speaking parseltongue, and felt a little uncomfortable joining in, but he agreed that it was something that only the real Harry would be able to do, and he could understand Howard's desire for proof. It was a very Hermione-esque trait.

"Yeah, no, that's fine, I'm pleased to meet you too I guess, although I've always felt you could be nicer to Raj. No offence."

As Howard and Harry chatted amiably in parseltongue (although it sounded very aggressive), Raj had worked up the courage to talk to Draco. He was very excited and was basically rambling whilst Draco awkwardly stood nodding along.

"I liked the third book, it was so interesting to see the way JK presented Lupin when he knew Harry and Harry didn't know him and it wasnot the way their life should have worked out, but I didn't like it when you were rude to Buckbeak, I mean Hippogriffs are such beautiful creatures, according to the movies anyway, and really you deserved to be attacked by it. Oh sorry I didn't mean to offend you, I'm sure you're a lovely person, especially since your relationship with Harry. You two really complement each other. That makes it sound like you're like a pair of Louis Vuitton's and a matching nail polish, sorry I'm rambling. Did you know that I dressed up as Harry once for Halloween? Hey I should dress up as you! No, that would be weird now that we've met…"

Leonard eventually dragged Raj away to the sofa to rescue Draco who was obviously having a tough time talking to Raj.

"So, Draco, how long are you going to be in Pasadena?" He asked, trying to make small talk. His attempt failed miserably when Draco's face grew visibly worried and he muttered, "I don't know how to get home again, so maybe forever…"

Leonard tried to reassure him.

"Can't you just go back the way you came?" He asked, reasonably.

"I don't know," said Draco, with a further droop of his head, "We got kinda lost on the way here and I don't know if we can retrace our steps."

"Don't worry guys, we'll help you find your way home- we'll just have to do some research, if any exists. And until we get you home, you can stay with us. What do you say?"

Draco smiled at the generosity of this short muggle, who according to Sheldon's colourful depiction he had expected to be much grouchier.

"That would be great, thank you." He said with a warm smile, one that he only showed to people he was truly comfortable around, and that therefore never made an appearance at Hogwarts.

That night, after an afternoon spent comfortably chatting about the wizarding vs muggle worlds, Draco and Harry squished up to sleep on the sofa together, not wanting to be parted from each other in this new world they didn't quite understand. They had gone against Sheldon's advice to sleep with their heads in "his spot", saying that marauders didn't scare them, with secret smiles.


End file.
